Obnoxious Clients

Disclaimer: These orders were established by the Commander (Me) based on her own experience fighting the Gumblar Virus on Wordpress, MediaWiki, and ZenCart installations. She does not claim to be a professional virus fighter. She doesn’t even claim to know that much about computers and the internet (despite the fact that she is a web designer/developer by trade). She cannot guarantee that the plan of attack will work on all Gumblar infected platforms (though she can’t imagine why it wouldn’t). All she knows is that after 3 weeks of battle, the orders below (which pull from a number of Gumblar-related resources) are what finally worked.

Note to Solider (AKA the reader): This OPORD was written with the assumption that you run a WordPress site. However, as mentioned above, it has been successfully applied to MediaWiki and ZenCart installations as well. So when you see “WordPress” in the instructions below, swap it with the name of the platform you are using.

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U.S. WWW COMMAND – OPORD 666
GUMBLAR ANNIHILATION OPERATIONS ORDER

Situation
We are under attack. A large number of websites show recognizable signs of Gumblar infestation. Even those with no recognizable indicators seem to be having issues. Previously proven “Gumblar Killers” are no longer effective. All assassination attempts have failed.

Enemy
Goes by the name Gumblar. First sited in May 2009 when it viciously attacked over 100,000 website. A valiant battle was fought and Gumblar retreated. While in hiding, it strengthened it defenses. In early November 2009, security experts started receiving reports of “suspicious activity” in the land of Gumblar. A few days later, Gumblar made it’s official resurgence, with a rapidly deployed stealth attack on a variety of traffic-heavy websites. Due to the clandestine nature of the attack, Gumblar was able to infiltrate hundreds of thousands of websites before the internet was even aware of initial assault. With it’s clever ability to replicate and spread within seconds of insertion, as well as the ability to disguise itself as regular code, Gumblar has proven to be worthy adversary. Unfortunately, due to it’s resilient nature, it’s been incredibly hard to counteract it’s advances.

KEEP READING SOLDIER...